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Women Want Flowers, Men Want Sex...

By Heidi Richards

So says the survey in recognition of National Doghouse Repairs Month® and National Get out of the Doghouse Day® we conducted at Eden Florist & Gift Baskets in Miramar, Florida. According to the survey "talking it out" is still the best way that men and women get out of the doghouse. However, when it came to individual responses, they each had very different answers and strategies for settling their differences, some more creative than others. One woman responded, "that's easy, women want flowers, men want sex!"

Of the 1,000+ men and women surveyed, men between the ages of 26 and 50 said they were in the doghouse more often than their significant other. Most men said they were in the doghouse an average of 4 to 6 times a year compared to women who responded once a year or less. While the results may not be surprising to some, (many women thought it was obvious that "men are in the doghouse more often than women") men say that sometimes they don't even know how they got there in the first place!

My staff and I found it entertaining and fun to discover what lengths people would go to get out of the doghouse. For example, some of the responses men gave were to "buy her flowers, a card, jewelry or something expensive; beg like a dog; cook her dinner; and even apologize." Some men think they are always in the doghouse, and a few even answered that they are never in the doghouse. The ones who said never, also admitted that they had been in several relationships and had learned from their past mistakes.

One man said "after forgetting my wife's birthday, I went to the store, bought her a cake and when I came home I lit the candles and walked into the house singing happy birthday. She wasn't mad at me after that." Another man responded via e-mail with this story: We live in a doghouse! We rescue Great Danes. However, we are never in the doghouse, because we are always on our honeymoon. Every year we renew our wedding vows in a different state. Our only disagreement in 15 years has been who gets top billing on the wedding announcement. I always put her first and she always puts me first. So we alternate every year." A third man said "I lead her on a scavenger hunt... I drop petals on the floor leading to the bedroom where I've prepared a gourmet meal, bubble bath and bought her sexy lingerie. That way, we both get to enjoy the making up."

While men and women agreed that "talking things out" and "apologizing" is the best way to get out of the doghouse, women said that "cooking a great meal, and having sex" was how they get out of the doghouse, followed by "letting him watch whatever he wants on TV." In fact, both sexes agreed that cooking and great sex were the most enjoyable way to get out of the doghouse. Many women answered the survey with, "I wear something sexy, make him a romantic dinner and then end with an evening of passion." One woman said, "I seduce him! If that fails, I beg!" Another one said "I tell him how cute he is when he's angry," and a third said, "I cook his favorite meal, feed him fresh strawberries/cantaloupe while he's lying on his back watching TV."

I was prompted to conduct this survey to raise awareness of National Doghouse Repairs Month® (observed in July) and National Get Out of the Doghouse Day® (July 15th). In order to get a good sense of how men and women feel and to what lengths they will go in order to get out of the doghouse, we have interviewed more than 800 men and women to date. About 85% of the surveys were conducted in person and 15% online. Of those, most respondents were between the ages of 26 and 50 (about 55%). About 45% were Caucasian, 30% Hispanic, 15% African-American and 10% answered "other." More women than men said they were never in the doghouse - about 18%, compared to men's 9%. For a complete list of survey results, visit our website at www.doghouserepairs.com.

So, just how creative can you get when it comes to getting out of the doghouse? According to Dr. Drew Pinskey, co-host of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus," The Big Three (flowers, dinner and jewelry) will get you out and keep you out of the doghouse. Why not give him/her a foot massage, a night on the town, a picnic for two, or a sensually romantic evening (a blindfold and your imagination). You could write a poem, send flowers for no particular reason, do whatever the other person likes to do or serve breakfast in bed. If you would like a list of Top Ten Ways to Stay Out of the Doghouse, visit www.doghouserepairs.com.

*Heidi Richards is the owner of Eden Florist & Gift Baskets in Miramar, Florida. She is an author, professional speaker and award-winning businesswoman. For more information about Heidi, or to subscribe to her E-zines, visit www.HeidiRichards.com.

Copyright 2003 by Heidi Richards. Permission is granted to reprint the above article as long as the author's information * is included in its' entirety, and a message is sent to www.HeidiRichards.com mentioning where article will be used.

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